December draws a close to yet another year that has passed so quickly. I failed to update my blog for 2 months! although it lingered in my thoughts to, but time kept me busy, and whatever spare time I had was wasted on indolent browsing of social media for trivia titbits. I even failed to read books. Tsk to myself.
Life must be more than this! After being so driven while doing my masters and coping with the hustle of newborn-caregiving, I really took it easy and laid back - maybe too comfortably back. Oops.
So, instead of napping on this beautiful rainy afternoon, I decided to come to this space to recollect and do some looking ahead.
A major event that took place was the verdict and the sentencing of those involved in the City Harvest trial. The church is close to my heart. I spent my entire youth there. It has made a big difference in society, even patients at my workplace who do not attend the church has expressed gratitude to the community support it has provided. It was sad to learn of the conviction. my prayers go out to the many whose lives are intertwined with all that has happened.
My work has been smooth. It isn't exactly demanding, neither does it pay poorly. But of late, I am giving some serious thoughts about the caregiving of my child. I always wonder, why give birth to a child for someone else to look after? if I could get my income and still be the primary caregiver of my child, it would be the best.
Everyday when I view the wireless monitor from work, I see my daughter wasting away in front of the television. I see a helper taking her nap while my daughter gets glued on the tube. I don't blame anyone or anything. after all, it is the expectations of life that made us choose decisions to such an outcome. I yearn to be there for my daughter at her waking and sleeping; and still maintain some social contact and income generation. i am afraid of giving up my job for the years I have committed myself to and the benefits it brings. This current helper's 2year contract would also be coming to an end in April and she has declared that she wouldn't be staying on. I do wonder hard what the road ahead beckons.
Lord, I am so troubled. Please let me have a Word for peace to my soul.
There was a testimony that stayed ingrained in my thoughts recently. A south indian pastor's wife had an opportunity to work in National University Hospital. he came along, answering the call to do God's mission in Singapore. he managed to get connected to a church and started a thriving Telugu fellowship, ministering to many Indian workers in Singapore. Life was hard in Singapore with the costs of living and their income could barely meet ends He struggled with this and told God to send him back to his home country. God told him, I sent you here not to get rich, but to make rich peoples' soul. He heard this and felt tremendous peace. I related to him, peace that surpasses all understanding. Just a precious Word to affirm what we are here for. Peace.
John 14:27. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Lord, be a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path. Selah
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