Life is fleeting

The hustle and bustle of life catches you and it's so easy to forgo things you used to do or wished you could do.

My days pass so quickly with 2 kids. One going on 4 years, the other going on 4 months.

I could probably achieve more on what i set out to do, but I chose to engage the kids personally whenever time permits, so i am left with very little time for myself. Moreover, Ariel does not nap anymore, so there is virtually no downtime for me in the day to catch up on anything.

By the time everyone's settled to bed, i am too exhausted myself, or i'd need to do my last milk pump for the day, or i'd need to do some chores. The wretched Tanjong Rhu MRT construction is just outside my block and a lot of dust comes into the unit. so mopping regularly is a must.

Sometimes, i am so tired that i get irritated easily and scold ariel a lot more. She's also in a phase of exerting her independence, hence we clash quite often.

As i lie in bed at night, i often feel so bad raising my voice instead of reasoning with her rationally. Got to pray for grace and patience to overcome this one.

Take for instance, my 2 week break this week has gone by so quickly, and i'm only left with 2 working days to spend with my kids. at least i got most of the things i've set out to do settled, lest for one task which i really need to find time to embark on.

I'm excited! Finally some indulgence for myself tomorrow. Will be heading for the so-called best buffet in town at Ritz Carlton! I can hardly wait. i did not even try the Landing Point's high tea during my birthday, as i felt it was too expensive.

Come to think of it, much of what i earn goes to savings and legacy building. i should cut myself some slack and live the moment at times.

Looking back at the past 1-2 months, i had a postpartum abnormal pap smear. Did a colposcopy and biopsy for further investigations. It was found i had cervical cancer 1B. i was shocked and emotional of course. however, the doctor assured me that this stage will take 10 years to develop to something advanced, and most people's immunity can tackle the abnormality and body goes back to normal. I'd need constant monitoring though. well, money on medical fees is another headache now.

Breastfeeding wise, with this 2nd one, i managed to build up quite a frozen supply (previously with ariel, i had never had enough to freeze). i used to pump 7X, then 6X, and now 5X. i do not plan to do this for long, as the doctor advised that BF brings down my immunity, which is crucial to overcome these abnormal cells. Am disliking the effort and time taken to express milk. But the benefits to the child weighs this off. Hope i can last to a year, and call it quits for good.

Ariel's currently in a 2-week speech and drama camp for 3 hours a day. it's in English and Mandarin. Very affordable fees as it's held at the community centre. But the class size is big and age group is wide. so i'm not very sure if she's truly well engaged. nevertheless, the exposure is good.

we've done many fun activities together like craft and baking. will find some time to post some photos soon!
The little one's doing good too, very interactive and smiley :)