some thoughts just came across my mind as i was studying.

i remember the early days when i was a young transport leader on n13.

the first time on the bus freaked me out. all i had was a printed transport form. no other expectation whatsoever.

i met bob together with another helper (i cant remember her name, but she's no longer around).

he said 'from now onwards you will be taking over the bus, so today i will do the bus with you and show you the route.'

i cant remember the route! there are so many pickup points! -anxiety creeps in- how to do the bus from now on....

the bus kids are so chaotic. they are hanging on the bars and crawling on the floor.

bob says 'as a transport leader you must control the kids'

i'm really freaked out. the bus is like a zoo. it's almost packed to the brim.

last pick up point.

bob says 'play some games with them. i gotta go for cell group now.'

he gets down.

we are left alone to face the maddening crowd. from ang mo kio to jw.

doesn't help that the driver is a mean man. (all n13 drivers are grumpy except for a nice man we had briefly for a few months).

subsequent weeks i'm doing it alone.

driver claims he knows the route better than me. i'm incompetent anyway, so follow his driving route lor.

it's too long a story, but from there i grew.

i was commited to this bus.

before transport, i'd go online to research games to play. it was a weekly affair which never ceased. i taught the bible lesson. even when there's no bible lesson i dig out old notes to teach. i bought snacks and sweets for the kids every sat.

one saturday morning, andrew (my then VL) called me. 'what are you doing now?' he asks. i was calling the perpetual latecomers on the bus to remind them. he was shocked. 'how come you never do this for my group huh?!? i will ask eugene to transfer you to w09.'

i thought of my commitment. now what do i do on the bus? i dont play games. the kids prefer to be in their own world. they sigh when i say lets do something. so how? engage them one by one. anyway i have so much journey time.

but then i feel jaded.

i MUST regain my commitment and enthusiasm.

they deserve my best because God deserves my best. i will not shortchange them.