early birthday surprise!

darryl and vic surprised me with royce and a black vest for my birthday.. and of cos a hush hush birthday song at my desk. so touched..

i'm turning 21 in 1 day! actually it's 7 july now and the time reads 1:13am.

pretty tired.. i was quite firm on not having a celebration because of all the hassle. but i miss my friends! so it'll be a good opportunity to meet up.

i need to sharpen my axe and get my cutting edge back!

well life in the past 2 months has been really eventful. i'm seen so much. so much. so much. that's the privilege of working in the human service. you get to see what people dont see on the surface. like..'oh that person looks so normal that but i never knew he/she had such an issue...'

well anyway, i need rest and more time to find myself... to find my place... to come alone with Him...

this morning i went to kumar's class for a make up field seminar.. and wow.. i was blown away by his session! he's so knowledgable.. so frank.. so interesting.. and he can actually use a theory to back up why he asked a little anti-social girl to give a goodie bag to an MP.

anyway i love taking bus 30 to school. it's because the bus passes by the sea. i love looking at water and trees. it's like soul food. so calming, so peaceful.. and i told Him that i felt like my soul is dead.. because it has been a long time since He met me.. and boy do i miss Him.

boy do i miss You. You are the reason for all that i do.

sometimes, the nature of the work i do requires me to take control. of late, i felt that i've developed this 'controling' behavior. want to take charge of everything.. make sure i'm informed of everything. argh! and i really hate it. control drives away the element of trust and faith. and i cannot depend on Him with such attitude. go away from me controlling spirit!!